People often compare their actual life with where they “ought” to be. This can be used to motivate oneself, however, comparison with peers can lead to distress. High value is placed on this ideal self, which when not achieved sets an individual up for repeated feelings of failure. Comparison with peers is a flawed perception. As no two human’s have the exact same life experiences, the same value cannot be placed on peer performance comparisons. An alternative viewpoint often argued is that another individual, “had it worse”. How others perceive the impact of a trauma will never measure the actual impact on an individual. Two people can experience the exact same event but have different reactions. It does not mean one is weaker, stronger, good, or bad, it just is. How you feel is justification enough, you don’t need to explain yourself to anyone.

Living with mental illness can cause one to feel as if they will never reach their potential, becoming immobilised unable to make smaller changes in life. It can be difficult to see past these bigger picture ideal’s and not take time to celebrate “smaller” achievements in your life. As if they are not “good enough” or they were “expected”, therefore you haven’t really achieved anything. It is long forgotten the life you have had, your struggles, and what you have overcome, frequently diminishing their impact. I could say cliché phrases such as “everyone is running their own race”, “you never know what they have going on”, etc. While these are both true I find sometimes the most effective method is to visualise that individual as you telling your life story. Would you be quick to dismiss their abuse as not that bad, would you think they are seeking attention? If you are anything like me, you would probably just agree and say of course not, but secretly saying “Yeah but it’s not the same”. The thing is, it is the same. The difference is the value you place on you as a human, versus your life story in another humans body.